And then there were two… and two is ten?

Another stretch of non-writing but this one easily excused by the birth of my second son. He is five months old now and sleeping within some reason and so I can write, a little bit at least.

When I was still pregnant friends and relatives always told me that ‘two is ten’ – once you have two kids, you may as well have ten. I have to say that so far I disagree. While no part of me thinks that two kids are easy, I’m somehow finding it easier than only one kid. Here’s why: With one kid, there is still some semblance of freedom, because I am married and my hubby is very hands on, so our ratio was 2:1. We outnumbered our kid. So we often passed him off:

You hold him, I have to pee.

Okay now you hold him, I’m going to fold laundry.

Can you take him now? I want to call my mom.

Your turn, I have to have a shower.

Of course in there we had nice family moments where all three of us frolicked and behaved like a unit, but if I say it like it is, the truth was that single-child parenting amounts to a game of hot-potato; one parent has the kid, the other doesn’t. And – here comes one of those moments where I admit something bad – sometimes it felt like I got addicted to the pawn off, that after a day or afternoon with my lovely little boy I’d be jonesing for the hand off.

And in a strange way, that was oppressive. The fact that I was only one step removed from the freedom of my pre-kids years was oppressive, I was always clawing my way back to it.

So now, we have two kids and there is no pawn off, or at least a lot less pawning off, because it’s much harder to feel okay about leaving my hubby with a baby dangling off him and a toddler running away from him. Sometimes I do it, but not without a real sense of what an a**hole I am. And when he does it, the guilt is epic:

I guess you can go play soccer. No, really, go. *Sigh*. We’ll be okay. I’m sooooo tired.  What am I going to feed them? But really, go.

Okay, so I’m being mildly facetious.

The bottom line has been that having two kids is easier because I gave in, I really just gave in, I surrendered myself to it fully. 

And while it’s madness, the fact that I can try to pawn them off is actually a bit of a relief.

Now there are two hot potatoes; two precious, funny little hot potatoes. So we hold one each and juggle like mad.


~ by thebookofmommy on November 25, 2009.

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